The Morning After

I have a splitting headache and I feel like I'm going to puke.

This is a terrible disappointment. I'd intended to go to the liquor store this morning to buy a bottle of vodka so I could begin my regimen of excessive daily drinking. Now that's all shot to hell.  How ironic.  Instead of spending the day avoiding my dismal reality in the comfort of drug-induced euphoria, I find myself spending the day wallowing in my dismal reality in the discomfort of drug-induced emesis.

The best laid plans...